![]() ![]() It is unclear which side proposed the challenge, but Pearl Harbor has never been the same.Īccording to recently discovered ancient texts, God didn't rest on the seventh day but instead combined all of his powers to create the ultimate being: a super powered, ninja-pirate, with a sweet red beard and the ability to entertain millions. John Wilkes Booth was assassinated by Chuck Norris.Īccording to Chuck, the best part of wakin' up is Napalm in his cup.Īccording to current research, the number one reason why women get divorced is because their husbands are not, and will never be, Chuck Norris.Īccording to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.Īccording to Kanye West, Chuck Norris does not care about black people.Īccording to legend, Chuck Norris once played a game of Battleship against the U.S. The boy went outside for a minute or two, and when he came back, all of his GI Joes, Stretch Armstongs, and his sister's Barbies had their heads and limbs broken off.Ībraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.Ī boy once bought a Chuck Norris action figure and put it in his room. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. The other 10% contributes to world hunger because Chuck Norris always gives 110%.Ībandoned by his mother at birth, Chuck Norris was discovered by South African zoologists naked, fully bearded and feeding upon the carcass of a lion he had just killed.Ībe Vigoda actually did die, but Chuck Norris resurrected him.Ī bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush but Chuck Norris will beat all three birds and the bush with your skull if you try and tell him.Ī blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. The remaining 1% is pain in your genitals. FOX still owes Chuck a beer.ħ6% of all suicides are committed when someone finds out that they are not Chuck Norris.ĩ00 of Nostradamus' 942 Quatrains prophesize about Chuck Norris.ĩ0 percent of the movie, "Congo" was filmed in Chuck Norris' crotch.ĩ9% of Chuck Norris is kick ass. The 5th is on the FBI's Missing Person's List.Ĥ out of 5 doctors agree, the doctor who disagreed with Chuck Norris learned his lesson.ĥ000 years ago, Chuck Norris was on an expedition through the Sahara Jungle when he told his buddies, "Hold on a sec, I gotta take a piss." The rest is history.ĥ years ago Chuck Norris ate Kiefer Sutherland and shit out Jack Bauer. 1337 $p33k was originally invented after Chuck Norris kicked too much ass for one of his victims to continue using real English.Ĥ out of 5 dentists recommend Chuck Norris.Ĥ out of 5 dentists recommend Chuck Norris.
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